Hello! Let me introduce myself and tell the story of my long way to Canada. Perhaps my story is not much different from the stories of people who left their homes because of the horrors of war. I will try to make a long story short.
My name is Alona, I am 38 years old, the mother of an incredible 15-year-old girl named Anastasiia and the wife of the talented professor Andrii. By profession, I am a manager in the sphere of tourism, hotel and restaurant business.
I grew up in a large family, I have 3 siblings (a brother and two sisters) and the best parents in the world, who raised me and instilled real life values in me. I didn't have a perfect childhood, but I can definitely say that it was full and happy.
The first experience of war in the life of my family took place in 2014, when Russia occupied my hometown Luhansk (you may have heard about Donbas). It was sudden, loud and horrible. No one believed it was possible, no one expected it.
My husband took our child and left to a small village on the coast of the Azov Sea, where at that time his sister and mother were already. I stayed in the city with my parents, continuing to work. At that time, I was already the head of the customer service department in a large company that serviced high-rise buildings throughout the city. It was the beginning of June and it was terrifying - heavy battles were already very close. On June 14, on my 29th birthday, I woke up by an air raid alarm,(air raid alarm woke me up) as an endless column of Russian tanks was entering Luhansk. It was a moment when I understood the inevitability of the occupation and the consequences that it would bring with it. Only a month later, thanks to friends, I was able to leave. A long, scary month. Explosions killed people, broke out families and crippled destinies. The news shared by colleagues and neighbors were shocking every day; propaganda was already actively working from the screens.
Is it possible to describe the emotions of a young woman who could not persuade her parents to leave the epicenter of military events at least temporarily?
I spent several weeks together with my child and husband in a small village in the Donetsk region. We were desperate, but together. The war grew like a tumor. The money was running out, there were no savings, because we invested all we had to buy a house; it was already life-dangerous to stay. We heard explosions nearby, so we were forced to move again. A few hours after we left, our neighbors called us and informed that the village was shelled, the house we lived in was damaged by explosion and had no windows...
We started from to build our new life in the city of Mykolaiv from scratch. Anastasiia went to the first grade; caring people helped with school uniforms and stationery. The university where my husband taught sociology was moved from Luhansk to unoccupied Severodonetsk, so in the fall of 2014 he had to go to work there. It was necessary just to survive, pay the rent, buy food and cover the minimum needs; I took the first job that came my way. The husband's sister offered to drive to Luhansk and pick up all the necessary things we left behind. I dared. Our car came under fire, then, there were minefields and a bunch of roadblocks. Late in the evening, I saw my mother and father. Probably, I have never hugged them more tightly in my life. The parental home, which before the occupation was full of laughter, hugs, fragrant pastries and happiness, in the absence of a large family, water and light, turned into a cold, gray building. Mom was upset that she could not pamper her already grown child with homemade goodies, and dad held my hands tightly. I still don't know about everything that they went through in those most terrible months, but I will not be able to forget their eyes full of pain and grief. We sat in the kitchen almost the whole night, talking about everything in the world and delaying the moment of parting...
We survived not only physically; we were trying to preserve our mental health. It was not easy.
In 2016, we decided to move to Odesa, a large city on the shores of the Black Sea, where we found better conditions for career growth and development. My husband taught sociology at the Law Academy while continuing to prepare for the defense of his doctoral thesis. I worked as an export/import manager, signing new contracts and making frozen chicken and fresh egg shipments around the world. It was an incredible experience. Life gradually returned to normal; the emotional state became more stable. The mild, warm climate brought walks along the coast at any time of the year and we enjoyed seascapes. Every summer, my daughter and I had the opportunity to spend vacations with my family. Happiness.
We are a very active family. Anastasiia went to school, attended piano lessons and had table tennis practice every day. After work, my husband and I enjoyed visiting the gym, which was located in the same building as the child's sports school, and went to play tennis on the court. Sport is an important part of our life and a good habit. On weekends, we walked by the sea, went to our favorite bookstore, and tasted a variety of food from all over the world in the restaurants of multicultural Odesa. The evenings we spent at the opera house, philharmonic hall or museum, were special. Arts, like sports, made our life fuller and deeper. My daughter grew up to be a knowledgeable and cheerful little girl. We adopted a kitten named Tim. Handsome, well-mannered and sensitive, he became Anastasiia's best friend and joy for us.
The husband defended his habilitation thesis and received a doctorate in 2019, which opened up new perspectives and freed up more time for the family. I continued to develop in my profession, spending all my free time in the circle of family and friends. Full life, new dreams, and goals.
In the fall of 2021 my husband received an offer from the leading Ukrainian university and moved to Kyiv, the capital of Ukraine, to teach at Taras Shevchenko National University. We made the decision to stay in Odesa and allow our daughter to finish the school year and reduce the risk of stress from another sudden life change. I also needed time to adapt and adjust the workflow. Kyiv is located at a distance of 600 km from Odesa; a high-speed train covered this distance in 4 hours, which allowed us to spend weekends and holidays together.
On February 24, 2022, at four o'clock in the morning, We woke up to loud explosions echoing all around. Half a minute later, my sister-in-law called me. "It has begun”. Were the first word I heard. Many cities that day were awoken by the sounds of bombing. Panic attack, despair, tears.
The horror that I would not be able to protect my child turned out to be stronger than pain and despair. We heard heavy explosions nearby again and hid in the small hall which was the most secure part of the apartment with no windows. I found the strength to collect the most necessary documents and clothes, take the daughter, the cat and went to the train station. We got in line for the evacuation train, wrapped ourselves in blankets and sat on the floor next to other families. There were millions of thoughts in my head. I wanted to be physically close to my family, hug everyone, tell them how much I loved them and how sorry I was because I wasn’t as brave and strong as them. I did not cry because I was afraid of scaring Anastasiia and causing additional stress and an epileptic seizure. Several times we went down into the bomb shelter of the railway station because of the air alarms, while somewhere in the distance there were explosions. By some miracle, we managed to get on an additional evacuation train. There were no seats, the compartments and corridors of the cars were full, and despite the inconvenience, one family with two children and a dog gave us half of their compartment. I experienced a feeling of deep gratitude and empathy at that moment. We reached Poland in 3 endless days.
For the next few months, I lived with survival instincts only. Terrible times, I hardly slept and was in contact with my husband and my brother's family. There were heavy bombings, and attempts to occupy as much Ukrainian land as possible in Mariupol and Azovstal, Bucha and Irpin, Kherson... Mass murders, rape, torture, and looting. It was and still is, an act of genocide against Ukrainian people. Our life was divided into “before” and “after” the February 24.
We received letters from our friends and colleagues from all over the world; everyone sympathized and offered help. Considering how confused everyone was, no one knew when it would end. It was so touching. Unexpectedly (for ourselves), we decided to apply for visas and fly to Canada. A Professor, who had been a close friend, mentor, and almost a father to my husband for over 20 years, and his wife helped us make the decision, because to say that we were disoriented and “lost” is an understatement. These incredibly bright and open people were in touch with us 24/7.
At the beginning of May, we moved to friends in Berlin, where we continued to wait for visas and prepare for the flight. All that time, Anastasiia was continuing to study online, I was maintaining contacts with business partners, closed signed agreements and looked for ways to extend contracts.
On July 11, 2022, we flew to Vancouver, where we were met by Don and Beth, people who have become a Canadian family for us. We stayed at their home in Nanaimo on Vancouver Island. Their support and help cannot be overestimated.
The English we studied before was pretty different from the language we heard around us. But the language base that we had allowed us to learn faster and become more independent in a short time. I spent the first few months preparing the necessary documents (ID, MSP, SIN, Medical Exam, etc.), finding a school for the daughter, obtaining a driver's license. Specialists from the multicultural center guided me, giving detailed and step-by-step instructions. I was surrounded by sentient and incredible people who were ready to help if we needed it. I was amazed by their deep empathy.
I was forced to leave my job in Ukraine. Sea ports were mined and blocked, exports stopped because the largest farms were shelled, and as a result, de-energized for a long time, and many animals died of hunger and starvation.
I was looking for a new job in Canada and started collecting a package of documents that would confirm my competence and education. I requested a reference letters, started the process of translation and evaluation of credentials, wrote a resume, and sent it everywhere possible.
The financial assistance we received from the Canadian government enabled us to cover the most urgent needs. Beth and Don helped us find a piano teacher and a tennis club for Anastasiia, so my child partially was able to get back to her normal everyday activities. Despite the difficulties of adaptation, she was delighted with the new school, met new people and fell in love with the new home but epileptic seizures became more frequent, stress for the brain and nervous system turned out to be too hard for a teenage girl. The situation worsened by the death of our cat, which we took with us from Ukraine, his heart could not stand it. He was not just a pet, but also her best friend and a part of our family. We contined to observe and monitor Anastasiia’s condition and thankfully managed to stop the seizures. She successfully finished the academic year. Also, I was able to get her in the summer leader camp for teenagers, where she received incredible emotions, new experience, and new friends; it helped her to study and gain a deeper understanding of Canadian culture and peers. It was her first camp experience, I was worried but when I saw her happy face when she came back – I knew, it was worth it!
From January to June 2023, I worked full time as a night shift baker in the COBS Bread, and from the end of May I got a job as a manager at the new Affirmation coffee shop, where I still work. Also, from time to time I take occasional gardening job, working with my new Canadian friends and partners, so my hobby gives me the opportunity to receive positive emotions and additional income. Work brings me pleasure; at the same time it takes almost all of my time and energy. I love my team, the working atmosphere, the smell of fresh roasted coffee and pastries, and the feeling that we are moving in the right direction when customers come back again and again, becoming part of our small community.
At the end of September 2023, after 599 days of separation, I saw and hugged my husband. It was a real “miracle” for me. He had been in Ukraine a year and a half after the war had started. He experienced several life threatening situations, when heavy cruise missiles exploded just in a few hundred meters away, or when Russian occupants had almost encircled the city of Kyiv. In the summer of 2023, he applied and was awarded with precious academic fellowship at a university in England, and he was able to visit Canada in October 2023 to see us. I have a great hope that we will reunite again in Canada in 2024.
I cannot call my life in Canada easy. Sometimes I feel tired and exhausted but I continue developing and moving forward. Canadians are very hardworking people. I have already learned a lot; there is still a lot to come. Since May 2023, I have been renting a two-room basement on my own, changed my job, bought a car, applied for a course for newcomers at Vancouver Island University. Some of my achievements may seem very modest but they are big attainments for newcomers. Tax returns, endless applications, credit scores, family doctor, improving speaking and writing skills and many others. Life in Canada is not only about challenges. Meeting with my husband after almost two years of forced separation was my great dream. Also, my other dream came true - I visited Tofino and Ucluelet.. New habits inherent and understandable to every Canadian, such as camping or shopping in Costco are becoming clear to me.
There is a terrible war in my homeland, missile attacks and bombings of Ukrainian cities happen every day. My house was destroyed, the Ukrainian office of the company in which I worked as a manager for the past 5 years ceased to exist. Twice in the last 10 years we lost everything and started life from the scratch. I could not have imagined that one day fate would lead me to Canada. One and a half years of living in Canada allowed me to get acquainted with the life and culture of this country. Also, it was important to objectively assess whether we can be a full-fledged part of this society. I really want to build our future in a safe, democratic, developed, and multicultural Canada; as a mother, I want to protect my child and I am sure that she will be happy here. I know this country is my future.